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                      暖的文字,温润你的心

                      读书多,真不代表教养好

                      今年暑假,和朋友一起去看电影。离电影开场还有四十多分钟的时间,我一个人无聊地坐在等候厅里玩手机。这时,来了一对小情侣坐到我旁边,看样子他们应该刚大学毕业不久,已参加工作。

                      一开始他们并没有引起我过多的关注,直到我被他们的说话声吵到抬起头。当时,那个女生盘坐在男生腿上,嚷嚷着要吃冰淇淋、要买水,然后两个人一起去买了一瓶矿泉水。本以为他们会就此消停,没想到玩闹得越来越厉害,整个等候厅里都是他们的声音。

                      读书多,真不代表教养好

                      接下来这个故事,是大学里的一位朋友讲给我听的。她宿舍的人都很节俭,从一开学她们就养成了一个习惯,把喝光的矿泉水瓶和不用的纸箱子都攒起来,最后卖给收废品的人,卖的钱用来当舍费。

                      临近暑假的时候,她们宿舍已经攒了一阳台的废品,联系到了收废品的人,她和两个舍友就一起把废品装起来,抬下去卖。收废品的人是一位老奶奶,满头白发,衣着简朴,弓着背,一看就知道生活很艰辛。老奶奶跟她们讲好价,她的两个舍友却不依不饶,一定要让老奶奶提高价钱。当时是中午,太阳最毒的时候,老奶奶的额头上早已冒了很多汗。事后她告诉我,她那两个舍友对待老奶奶的态度很差,只是为几毛钱,真的有点过分了。

                      还有高二时候的英语老师,是个五大三粗的男人。有次他讲课,讲到兴奋处,突然问一个成绩不是很好的女生G,你在班里最好的朋友是谁。她说是Z。英语老师竟然说了一句,Z学习那么好,她怎么会把你当好朋友呢。当时全班沉默,Z恰好是我的同桌,我很清楚地听到Z说了一句,Teacher,you are wrong。事后,G和Z依旧每天都玩得很开心,但G再也没有叫过他一声老师。

                      从小父母就教育我们,对待他人要礼貌,但仅仅懂礼貌并不等于好教养。对待同事彬彬有礼的上班族,可能对餐礼厅里的服务员破口大骂;教育学生礼、忠、孝的老师,也可能会在课堂对学生拳打脚踢、嘲笑怒骂。有时候我们自己都不曾察觉到的一言一行,早已把我们的教养暴露得淋漓尽致。

                      有人说,要想提高教养,应该多读书。可是,教养一定与读书有关吗?读一千本小说的人,不一定会对餐厅里上菜的服务员说一句“谢谢”;从上小学就开始背《三字经》的我们,也未必都是教养很高的人。

                      有一位外国朋友曾经对我说:你看过很多书,在书里经历过各种各样的人生,但哪一个才是你自己的人生?我认为,教养也是这么一回事。我们看到书上讲古人如何举止得体、言谈文明,我们未必接着就去学习古人。但如果我们亲自去街上发一次传单,下次遇到别人给我们传单时,我们一定不会像以前那样粗鲁地拒绝。

                      网上有个提问:陌生人的哪些事,让你感触很深?有人回答:有一次,地铁里,打翻牛奶,洒到了别人身上,赶紧赔不是。可旁边的男士却拿出纸巾把我身上的牛奶擦干净,微笑表示不介意,没有一句斥责,很快就下车了。我突然想明白,一个人只有被温柔地对待过,才知道怎样温柔地对待别人。

                      人总是在一次次经历中反思,然后一步步成熟。尝过被偷的滋味,就选择不去偷窃他人的东西;尝过被朋友恶语中伤的滋味,就选择绝不去恶语中伤朋友;发现说脏话很low,就选择同人交流时使用文明语言;作为公司新人被公司老人欺负,就选择当自己成为公司老人时绝不欺负新来的人;尝过被人温柔以待,就选择以后也温柔以待他人……

                      你的经历给你反思,反思后,你的选择决定你成为怎样的人,成为怎样的人决定你有怎样的教养。单纯的读书,并不一定能给你带来多高的教养,因为理论终是要联系实际的,这也就是为什么有的人读了很多书以后依旧脏话连篇。

                      读万卷书虽好,但也要扎根实际。多样的经历可以使你理解不同的生活,内心也就变得慈悲起来。不需要刻意去表现自己的举止,你平日的一言一行都是反映你教养的名片。


                      来源:摆渡人(ID:baiduren66),有删改|作者:摆渡人

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                      11. #42

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                      52. #1

                        The new Zune browser is surprisingly good, but not as good as the iPod’s. It works well, but isn’t as fast as Safari, and has a clunkier interface. If you occasionally plan on using the web browser that’s not an issue, but if you’re planning to browse the web alot from your PMP then the iPod’s larger screen and better browser may be important.

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